Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Rant's, Rave's and Murderou's Intention's

You know what people seem to love these days? Being total retards. These days more than ever; It's become the new fad, bigger than Pogs or anit-semitism ever were. I know it sounds a pedantic point to judge people on but the superfluous apostrophes that appear these days accompanying every occurance of the letter S have really started to grate on me. Besides, I never claimed that I wasn't pedantic or judgemental, you absolute cunt.

I mean, really. These are simple grammar points that we've learned since the age of about six. How are you getting dressed in the morning, or getting to work? "Actually, I'm on the dole cos theres no job's out there." Fuck off, you bum, you know what I mean. And, while we're at it, if you're going to be on the dole, at least think of a good excuse. Like you're taking a year out from your shit Arts degree or you have anxiety disorder from being molested as a child. That said, if you are using an apostrophe to pluralise the word "Box," I can see why no one would give you a job. I wouldn't buy chips from you and the bitch that sells me my chips wipes the sweat off her forehead just before manhandling the inside of my chipper bag. This is how little confidence I have in you.

But it's okay, one day you'll die. And your retarded family will have lovely things to say about you (none of which are true; I really doubt you were "the life of every party." I've met you and you're fucking boring). And you'll have a lovely headstone that reads something like "Here Lie's Utter Bastard. Father of two Children's, Brother of three Sister's, Beloved Cunt." And I'll laugh. Laugh from under my headstone that just says "Prick."