Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I Hate People Who Hate Things That I Don't Hate pt. 1: Valentine's Day

Y'know what? I'm fucking sick of the high-horsery. Some people decide that they're better than Valentine's day. They decide that their assumptions about those who celebrate it are 100% accurate and anyone who disagrees is a sap. So let's get into it right fucking here.

Grievance #1: "It's a stupid, made-up holiday that doesn't even mean anything."

Rebuttal: Christmas, New Years, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloweeen, Mother's Day, Father's Day, your birthday, your cat's birthday, your dog's birthday, the day you lost your virginity, the day the poor girl tried to give it back etc etc etc. They're all made-up. Invalidate one by disliking the sentiment and you invalidate the rest. Morons.

Grievance #2: "Fuckin' Hallmark man, telling us that this is the one day a year that we should tell our OH that we love them; it's bullshit man."

Rebuttal: Get your stupid fucking art college attitude out of my face, you dumb, hippy hack. I say again, it's the same as the other made up celebrations: it's not the 'one day' that you're supposed to tell someone you love them any more than Mother's Day should be the 'one day' you give your mother flowers; it's just the one day that the media recognises and sets aside. And, yes, it's obviously to turn a profit for whatever industries are likely to make extra business from it but guess what. That's how the fucking world works. How else does business survive? Y'know that sale in HMV? Happy Valentine's Day, chump. City Deal for a nice restaurant? Easter's come early, dipshit. Many industries thrive on this kinda thing; who are you to say they shouldn't? Who are you to say no one should support them? Who's to say you even have to get involved?! If you're that concerned about being ripped off, make your boyfriend a card, cook your girlfriend a meal. Don't bemoan everyone a nice night cos you're a stupid fucking hippy.

Grievance #3: "There's 365 days in a year. People should concentrate on doing/saying nice things on a daily basis rather than just doing it once a year."

Rebuttal: Who in shite are you to say they don't, you presumptuous arsehole? The fucking neck of people to presume that, just because a couple enjoy celebrating Valentine's Day, they are practical icy strangers the rest of the year. Don't give me shit cos you think you're better than everyone else. Gwan away.

Grievance #4: "I hate Valentine's Day cos it makes people feel bad when they're single. "

Rebuttal: It does in its arse. People feel how they want to feel. Getting sad about being single on Valentine's Day is nothing but stupid self-pity that can be remedied with a small dose of getting over yourself.

In conclusion, this Valentine's Day-like any other day-I'm gonna tell my girlfriend that I love her and there's nothing you can do about it. I might buy her a card; I might get her a present; I might even attempt to cook her a big, juicy steak, even though she's much better at cooking steak. Judge all ya want, motherfuckers, but while you're feeling awesomely high and mighty, I'm gonna be enjoying the pointless celebration. Enjoying. You've got a lot of growing up to do. Suck my balls.

1 comment:

  1. i have a Love/Hate/Love relationship with Vday

    lets start with Love. if i'm in a relationship i Love the fact i can be unashamedly romantic and cheesy and go all out for my girl without getting any flack for it.

    Hate. i hate people in relationships trying to out do other peoples. "oh i took her to that really fancy place and you just cooked at home?" fuck off and concentrate on your own relationship. i hate single people that moan about vday coming up and they have no one. guess what, how is it any different a day than the last week, month or year that you've been single. (fresh break ups are the worst)

    and Love again. being single on vday is so fuckin great. and i might be letting out all my secrets but i doubt any girls that read this would want to fuck me anyway. i love it because the SMALLEST gesture to a person is taken as important as a fancy restaurant or whatever. even a hotdog off the street. yup vday is xmas eve for Lammy and you gals tie your own ribbons.
    i especially love "we dont need a man" anti-valentine group. i'm like a wolf that just needs to seperate a sheep from the flock.

    i'll leave ye now